For love is strength, and faith, and hope;
It crowns with bliss our mortal state;
And, glancing far beyond the grave,
Foresees a life of endless date.
That life is love; and all of life
Time or eternity can prove;
Both men and angels, worms and gods
Exist in universal love.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
LIES A PERSON TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT DE EYE CAN SEE.
EVERYONE SEES ME AS IF IM DE MOST HAPPIEST KID THEY COULD FIND ON EARTH. YES, MY PARENTS GIVE ME EVERYTHING I WANT & NEED. SERIOUSLY, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BLAME THEM, COS THEYVE DONE A WHOLE LOT FOR ME, PLUS MY EDUCATION AND EVERYTHING. SIMPLY EVERYTHING.
MAYBE THERES SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WID ME.
MAYBE, MAYBE, MAYBE...
ERMMMM,
AT TIMES I JUST WANNA TELL PPL HOW I FEEL, I JUST FEEL LIKE CRYING OUT. BUT SOMETHING STOPS ME.
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE CALLING SOMEONE UP TO CRY MY LUNGS OUT. I DUNNO WAD FORBIDS ME FRM DOING SO. I ASKED MYSELF SEVERAL TIMES.
"WADS IT NANDHINI?"
RATNA TOLD ME ONCE,
"I NOE DESE IS A FAKE SMILE."
I STARTED CRYING.
AT TIMES, I WANNA CALL UP KARTHIK ANNA IN DE MIDDLE OF DE NIGHT & TELL HIM HOW I FEEL. I FEEL AS THOUGH SOMETHING IS HAUNTING ME DOWN.
BUT ALL I NOE IS TAD WAD IM FEELING IS NOT GUILT.
TADS FOR SURE.
I DUNN WANNA DISTURB HIM AT TAD HOUR=]
THEN WAD IS IT.
SOMETIMES WHEN BONDING WID DURGA AKKA AND JES AKKA I FEEL LIKE CRYING.
COS DE WORDS ARE HAVING SO MUCH OF TROUBLE COMING OUT.
THOUGH I NOE TAD THEY WILL LISTEN TO ME....IT JUST HAPPENS.
SOME PPL JUST NOE ME AS THE GAL WHO RUNS ARND, SCREAMING HER LUNGS OUT.
SOME IMAGINE THINGS BOUT ME. AHHAHS. THEY THINK TAD MY LIFE IS FILLED WID ONLY HAPPINESS. WEIRDLY FUNNY THOUGH.
I HAVE FUN WID BANU, I DO CRAPS WID HER. WE'VE BEEN SOOOOO CLOSE FOR 16 YEARS. TADS SINCE HER BIRTH. BUT I DUNN EXPRESS MY HEARTPAINS TO HER, COS I NOE SHE WILL CRY IF SHE HEARS THEM.
SUBAS MY ALL IN ALL. BUT I HIDE THINGS FRM HER. MAYBE THIS IS DE GUILT WHICH IS HAUNTING ME.... BUT I NOE ITS NOT. SUBA WILL LISTEN TO EVERY SINGLE WORD I SAY, BUT AS I SAID, I CANT REALLY EXPRESS MY FEELINGS.
I JUST CANT DO THIS.
SOMEONE HAS LEFT A LARGE, DEEP FOOTPRINT IN MY LIFE/HEART.
IT HURTS SOOO MUCH THOUGH, BUT IT SEEMS SOOO DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS.
I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF, "MAYBE U ARE SOO UGLY!!!"
HMMM, LOL.
AT TIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH MY TEARS ARE GONNA FLOW LIKE SOME WATERFALL. HHAAA.
AM I EXAGGERATING THINGS.
MAYBE I IMAGINE THINGS.
I NOE WAD IM TALKING BOUT,
IF YOU NOE WAD IM TALKING ABOUT ITS GOOD.
HMMM, IM YOUNG
I NOE WAD IM GOING ACROSS.
IM MORE INTERESTED IN MEETING MY AIMS.
I WANNA PLACE MY FOOT IN DE POLICE FORCE, BECOME A LAWYER.
I FEEL SOOOO DEPRESSED,
IM GONNA GO MAD SOON.
I WILL NOT STATE THINGS LIKE,
"GOD IS SOOO UNFAIR" AND ALL.
COS I NOE TAD WADEVA HE DOES IS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
HOPE HE WILL BRING THINGS BACK.
JUST WANNA LET DOSE WHO HAVE BEEN BY MY SIDE AND HAVE BEEN SOOO NICE TO ME TAD I LOVE YOU GUYS, AND DE LOVE I HAVE FOR U PPL WILL NEVA CHANGE!!!
ESP TO DOSE WHOS NAMES HAVE BEEN STATED IN DESE POST.
THANKS ALOT.
7:12 PM
